2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
