i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
