in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
