Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
