lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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