All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
