He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
