I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
