This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
