just tell him i said nine months
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
this will be a night to untag.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
