fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize