Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
