hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
