Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
