your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
