you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Drake has all the answers
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
