Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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