I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
