I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
