ugly people sure do ruin things
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
