Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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