I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
