I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize