I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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