You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
