What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
