gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
