There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
