i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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