so explain again why im purple
no
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
