The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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