In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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