i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
