I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
