Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
