hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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