I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just googled if crying burns calories
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
