Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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