I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
A+ Viking dick
Never joke about your clitoris.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
