The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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