No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize