So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
