am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
