It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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