i would punch a child for taco bell
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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