Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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