I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Its about making memories worth repressing
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
They have beer where we have blood.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
