he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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