we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
