I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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