Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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