tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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