Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Me. At least after what I've been through.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
