We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
