No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
