she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
