I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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