I accidentally had phone sex last night
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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