Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
