Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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