im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
only if we run a train.
done.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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